10 Days Until Star Wars: The Force Awakens!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn' he just gorgeous?!

I want to cry.

There are ten days until the best day of my life and the end of my world. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do after the movie is out. I have been counting down since somewhere around 235. I have been waiting for this my entire life. Star Wars was, is, my first fandom. People talk about how they always come back to Hogwarts. I will always come back to that black sky with beautiful white stars and scrolling yellow words. That is Star Wars. A black field with white points on it brings Star Wars into my mind.
I watched Star Wars for the first time when I was six. My mother says I talked about it constantly, even before that. I would come home and talk about Yoda, Luke, Leia, Vader and their adventures. How Han Solo and the Wookiee took the droids on the Falcon. I told her the stories she already knew, but she saw how much I loved them, in my forcefulness. I was a timid child, but Star Wars made me shout, yell, speak louder than a whisper. I pushed these movies I had never seen on anyone who would listen. I loved them before I knew what they were.
I am sixteen now. Ten years later, I love them in the same visceral, instinctive way. I cannot remember a time when I did not love Star Wars. I cannot remember a time when I did not know Star Wars. Star Wars is as much a part of me as breathing. This is the place I call home.
What does one do after the movie comes out? I have only been waiting for this for 235 days, but really, it's been my whole life. I don't know where to go from here. I can wait for Civil War (May 6), or Rouge One (2016), but no wait will ever compare to this one.
The Force Awakens, I can feel it in my bones. Waiting for this movie is a part of me, written in my DNA. Will I be lesser once it is here?
I want to believe that I will not. I will be remade, cast in a new image, absorbing another part of myself. I can carry on, even without the waiting.
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Chorus of the Day!

In the Vegas lights

Where villains spend the weekend

The deep end

We're swimming with the sharks until we drown

The Vegas lights

The lies and affectations

Sensation

We're winning 'til the curtain's coming down

Last Chorus of the Day:
Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

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La! ~SCP