I remember looking forward to coming here. When I was younger, this place was full of happy moments, happy memories. Now this place is full of my apprehensions, full of memories, wishes, nostalgia, that I can't enjoy it. There are so many good memories here, but now there is tension in this house, and sickness, and arguments. I can't make any more good memories. I can't really make any memories. When I come here, I'm in limbo. This house, this town, seems to exist outside of time. It is exactly as I have left it, year after year, after year. Sure there are tiny changes, like the bank moving or the bricked in sandpit, but the town feels the same. It's stifling. Every time I look at something, it's as if I could pick any year, any visit and it would be the same. There is a permanence that scares me. It seems like a sickness. My grandparents, too, are exactly the same, yet totally different. Everything about them has changed, yet it seems like they have always been like this. This place is like a tide pool: there's always new water, but it looks the same. This house constricts me, and I try to hide. I hide myself in rooms where no one else is, just to escape the air, the breath of those around me, the timelessness. Every day here makes me feel like I'm wading through wet concrete. I need someone else here to distract me. I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid of stagnation. I'm afraid of losing things, even if I don't want them.
Chorus of the Day!
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,
You better run, better run, outrun my gun.
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,
You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.
Last Chorus of the Day:
Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy? by Fall Out Boy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy? by Fall Out Boy
La! ~SCP
No comments:
Post a Comment